Plus, I've got the teaching gig at Boston University that lasts until December, so for the first time in about two years suddenly I've got some cashola in my pocket (unemployment + grad school = empty pockets).All this will let me do a lot of things I've been wanting to do for a while like pay more bills and take some of the pressure off Sue who also works two jobs though Sue would work two jobs even if we didn't have the money. It's going to allow me to pay off Bank of America (boo, hiss), a bank and all its derivatives I've been with since I moved to Boston (Shawmut Bank, anyone?) and a bank that is not customer-friendly in the least and move to a credit union. Yes, I occasionally miscalculated and overspent, and what BoA does is charge you a much larger fee than the overdraft and then starts charging you interest. So an overdraft of, oh, let's say $27 is suddenly $100 with interest. Not nice, BoA, not nice at all. (Yes, where is my bailout, indeed?)
But, along with all the great things this job is going to affect in my life, what it's also going to do is what all jobs do, and that's suck me dry. In this society, pretty much what we do is exchange our lives for money.
After being able to write every day, I have no idea when or how I'm going to write. I spend three hours a day commuting on the subway. That's three hours times five days, which comes to fifteen hours, or almost two more full work days. I've been trying to squeeze in the time, which is what I did in grad school. In grad school, if I had twenty minutes before a class I'd write a couple of lines of dialogue. Now, I bring a laptop with me and I write on the T going outbound. And I get an hour for lunch, which is a total of five hours a week. But in grad school, I was steeped in the theater; my mind was in "theater mode" and I found it was easy for me to write. I'm finding that this catch as catch can way of writing isn't really working.
I'm having a hard time doing the business of playwriting, too, especially getting my plays out to theaters. That process takes a surprising amount of time, researching theaters, finding the right contact, learning the theater's eligibility rules and process, then formatting the script for that theater (why does every theater have to have its own format??) And, whereas before I'd see three, sometimes four productions a week, I'm finding too tired to go out during the week. I'm coming home from work, grabbing a bite to eat, and then going to bed. After years of experiencing the thrill that real growth in your life feels like, my life has shrunk to the treadmill of work: I get up when it's dark, make lunches for Sue and me to save money, shower/dress/grab something quick to eat, run for the T, work, come home, eat, sleep, then do it again the next day. Weekends are spent doing the things I couldn't do during the week, like grocery shopping, picking up the apartment, grading papers, and generally getting ready for the next week of the same old same old.
I guess I just have to look at it right now that one aspect of my life that was going gang-busters (playwriting) will have to go a bit dormant like flowers in the winter, while I concentrate on the more practical side of life for awhile. And at the same time see if I can't figure out some ways to make more room for theater.